grawr....

if you would have asked me my opinion of the internet a couple days ago, i would have said something along the lines of "can't live without it"

recently, though, i've been losing interest. in the past week or whatever, i've only been going online to see if i could engage myself again- if i could find that obsession again. i normally end up halfheartedly catching up on my youtube subscriptions and continually refreshing my facebook newsfeed for a couple hours.

actually, this disengagement has reached farther than just the internet. i've been uninspired to write any more of the story i've been working on for a while, i've only been doing my homework so that my mom doesn't kill me for failing, and really only willing myself to go to school so that i can see my friends. other than that, i really just want to be alone with my iPod and my thoughts.

if you, dear reader who i assume cares about my feelings, know me in real life and see me on a regular basis, i may seem to retain my normal gusto and charm, but never believe what i portray. over the past couple of years since moving, i have gotten far too skilled at seeming to be almost Paige Harwood happy. as much as i would love to share her optimism, i don't.

why i have been feeling so blehh goes without reason. you can try to cheer me up, but i doubt you will be able to... i think the only thing that will bring a completely genuine happiness to me would be a new SoA song, The Last Little Blue Envelope, the new Fallen book, or a hug from Hank Green. seeing as the hug is the only legal thing anyone can really attain, i suggest you get your creep on.